Intuition vs. the Holy Spirit
Feelings might not be what they appear to be
Maybe it was my broken parts and trauma seeking out familiar situations. It hit me like a ton of bricks while doing some vacuuming, of all things. That’s the beauty and terror of the mundane.
Several months earlier I had sat on my couch having my own “like in the movies” moment. You know, that scene when the guy or girl meets someone and they’re unable to function save for smiling a big, dumb smile. I was overwhelmed. Floored. In a good way. Images of a future with this person flooded my mind. Heart still pounding.
But it was no surprise when I realized a few months later that future would not materialize. He had a longtime girlfriend. Ugh, of course he did. Why wouldn’t he? I had been wrong. No surprise there, either. But it was such a strong feeling and I still feel some of that pull when I’m around him. I consider myself to be a pretty “intuitive” person, but even at the time I questioned whether it really had been “intuition” or just wishful thinking.
Vacuum blaring, mind running on its own, I wondered, “how could my intuition have been so wrong? Was it even intuition at all? It was such a strong feeling.” And there, right there, was the crux of it — feelings. My good old friends and longtime nemeses. The Word of God tells me my feelings are not to be trusted. They are not the be all end all.1
Hadn’t I had a “feeling” a few times before and nothing good came out of it? In fact, feelings had gotten me in some less than desirable relationships before being Saved. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t have the Holy Spirit, only my feelings.
Feelings. Wonderful, unreliable feelings. Let me be clear here and say I am not attracted to men who are unavailable. But maybe, subconsciously somehow, I end up being attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable even when they’re single. How, I do not know.
All of that is complex and I haven’t studied it, but I know trauma rewires your brain. And now I’m thinking I should be cautious whenever I “get a feeling,” because it might not be what I think it is. The Holy Spirit revealed that to me as I did the mundane activities of everyday life.
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Good article. I really enjoy your writing and appreciate the ways you express yourself. I can't seem to find the words when I write. Thank you Lord for giving us feelings. We know you understand! Thank you for showing us, that we can't always trust them. But we have your Word & Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us what is right!
PTL. 🥰🙏