Revisiting (the blessing of) Singleness

When singleness doesn't feel like a blessing, but it actually is.

Nov 23, 2025

A few years ago I wrote a blog post on singleness for my church’s women’s ministry blog.

TL,DR; I was never one to dream of getting married as a young girl. Honestly, the possibility never even occurred to me. But in my early 20’s my heart changed and I knew I wanted to be married by the time I was 30, please and thank you. The years went by. I blinked. I hit 30. And I found myself… alone.

I blinked again and now I’m 35. Dang it, I think I need to stop blinking?! The space on my finger where that coveted ring should be is empty. And I find myself… alone. No ring. No one to give me a ring.

In that original post, I talked about ways that singleness is a blessing the same way marriage is a blessing, though they look different. Same, but different.

Maybe God can use me (and you) the most in our singleness.
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul says that the unmarried woman is able to more fully devote herself to the Lord. For example, because He made me, He knows my gifts and talents as well as how and when they would be best used. Whatever your gifts may be, spiritual or otherwise, when you’re single you generally have more time to use those gifts to the best of your ability. God has blessed me with the time to pursue my creative passions and use my gifts for the purposes of His kingdom by creating art that hopefully inspires others and points them to Christ. This brings me much joy and glorifies Him, simply because I’m using something He has given me out of His vast kindness and generosity.
Of course this is not to say that married people cannot use their gifts or that they cannot use them well. They simply have different gifts. Paul puts it this way: “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:7) Here Paul is saying both marriage and singleness are gifts from God and that some people get one gift while other people get the other.
from The Blessing of Singleness

As I’ve been thinking more about relationships and marriage the last few months (again, I’m 35 and haven’t figured out how to stop blinking), I still believe everything I wrote is true. And God is teaching me more still. More than that, I think He’s changing my perspective.

Don’t get me wrong, the desire for these things is still very much present. But even without them, I can see that having them will not make me ultimately happy. Of course, marriage would bring a lot of joy and fulfillment, yes, but not the ultimate joy and fulfillment. Marriage is good, but it is not the only good option. Marriage is sacred and desirable. But it will not complete me or fulfill me. Nothing and no-one other than Jesus Christ Himself can do that.

Somewhere along the way we were taught to expect an imperfect, flawed human to make us perfectly happy. Make that make sense. Our flesh is selfish and our heart deceitful. I know that I get impatient with people, I can always find something to complain about, and it’s never enough. Even the most loving, attentive husband won’t change that.

If you just read that and thought, “wow, you’re probably just a terrible person,”… that’s the point! The entire point is: without Jesus and His Holy Spirit acting in me, I’m nothing and even marriage is pointless. Ok, before I get any more existential and this article turns into a deep-dive of Ecclesiastes, I’ll get back to singleness.

I’ve realized that if something is not from God, I don’t want it. I don’t want counterfeits. A relationship or marriage not centered on Christ, as wonderful as it may be, would only cheapen God’s design. I’ve been in those relationships before and I don’t want them anymore. I want what God intended.

A relationship not centered on Christ would simply be a distraction. (It would be a nice distraction, but still a distraction) One which would likely pull me away from Jesus instead of closer to Him. While I don’t know if God intends marriage for me, I do know He is still good and His plan for me is good and perfect.